I woke up with a migraine and eventually made it to work.
After work, I waited in line for an hour at Social Security for a new card.
Then I brought my college's tuba back.
Then Brian and I cleaned and unpacked the apartment.
Then he took me to dinner.
After dinner we went out for drinks.
And it was the best birthday ever. <3
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Wicked
Oh mah gawd! See it. Just friggen see it. You won't be disappointed. Brian and I went the other night and it was incredible. And the sad part is that there really is no way to communicate just how good it was. It's something that you need to see for yourself. So..get on that. K thanks.
Apparently my boss heard some 'eh' reviews by friends of hers. I think they went to the wrong theatre and saw Phantom of the Opera or something instead.
So my grades finally came in yesterday afternoon. 4.0 for the semester, all A's! 3.97 cumulative GPA giving me an easy Summa Cum Laude honors line on my degree. Now to apply for grad school. Uggggggh that sounds painful.
Today I get my New York State driver's license. Wish me luck. Goin' down to tha ghettoooooO!
That's all I feel like writing. I need to go update OutVoiced Albany, too.
Bye bye.
Apparently my boss heard some 'eh' reviews by friends of hers. I think they went to the wrong theatre and saw Phantom of the Opera or something instead.
So my grades finally came in yesterday afternoon. 4.0 for the semester, all A's! 3.97 cumulative GPA giving me an easy Summa Cum Laude honors line on my degree. Now to apply for grad school. Uggggggh that sounds painful.
Today I get my New York State driver's license. Wish me luck. Goin' down to tha ghettoooooO!
That's all I feel like writing. I need to go update OutVoiced Albany, too.
Bye bye.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Grades
OMG OMG OMG I'M SUCH A GRADE WHORE!! And this is the semester that decides which level of honors I get. If I get all As or A-'s, I get Summa Cum Laude, highest honors. If I get a B, I could be at Magna Cum Laude, or medium high honors. Another way to say that is pissed. And grades came out today. But I promised Brian I wouldn't check them because if I get that B, I'm going to be in a terrible mood and in need of super hard drugs to stay sane.
And we're seeing Wicked tonight, which is something I'm not ruining. Just not. But holy crap, it's hard not to check my grades.
One good thing is that I didn't have to play a jury this semester. One bad thing is that I accomplished this by smashing my face up. The same day that I posted about playing on the radio (I haven't been able to post anything since, I've been soooo friggen busy!), my mom visited. She picked me up from the library where I work and as we were walking from the 3rd floor to the 2nd, where my office is, I fell down the stairs.
Yeah I'm awesome. So I twisted my ankle, which caused the fall. Then I landed on my left knee and twisted that, spraining both of those parts in the process. Then, the worst part, I landed on the railing, which is flat on top and rounded underneath. In other words, pointy...um, -ish. So I slammed my face, just under my bottom lip, into the square edge of the railing. At first I thought I just split my lip, which would have been bad enough. When I looked in the mirror, I had two holes in my gums under my bottom teeth. And a concert to play later, the John Rutter "Gloria". On tuba, the mouthpiece of which makes contact with the gums under your bottom teeth.
So I played the concert, turning the two holes almost into one in the process. Afterward, I went almost straight to the emergency room, where I received 4 stitches in my gums, good pain meds and orders not to play for a week. This was Friday; my jury was Tuesday. Oh shit.
So anyway, the music department took pity on me and didn't require me to make up my jury or play it that day, excusing me from it completely. An incomplete would cost $60 and not allow for any honors at all, meaning I would have played the jury anyway. And ripped the stitches out. And possibly be prevented from playing permanently.
I have some low range issues actually. The stitches closed up the part where the inside of my lip meets the gums just a bit, so I need to actually change how I play a bit to compensate.
In other news... Actually, no, if I write other news this will be way too long. So I'll write other news another time. There's plenty. But goodbye for now, Happy Monday!!!
And we're seeing Wicked tonight, which is something I'm not ruining. Just not. But holy crap, it's hard not to check my grades.
One good thing is that I didn't have to play a jury this semester. One bad thing is that I accomplished this by smashing my face up. The same day that I posted about playing on the radio (I haven't been able to post anything since, I've been soooo friggen busy!), my mom visited. She picked me up from the library where I work and as we were walking from the 3rd floor to the 2nd, where my office is, I fell down the stairs.
Yeah I'm awesome. So I twisted my ankle, which caused the fall. Then I landed on my left knee and twisted that, spraining both of those parts in the process. Then, the worst part, I landed on the railing, which is flat on top and rounded underneath. In other words, pointy...um, -ish. So I slammed my face, just under my bottom lip, into the square edge of the railing. At first I thought I just split my lip, which would have been bad enough. When I looked in the mirror, I had two holes in my gums under my bottom teeth. And a concert to play later, the John Rutter "Gloria". On tuba, the mouthpiece of which makes contact with the gums under your bottom teeth.
So I played the concert, turning the two holes almost into one in the process. Afterward, I went almost straight to the emergency room, where I received 4 stitches in my gums, good pain meds and orders not to play for a week. This was Friday; my jury was Tuesday. Oh shit.
So anyway, the music department took pity on me and didn't require me to make up my jury or play it that day, excusing me from it completely. An incomplete would cost $60 and not allow for any honors at all, meaning I would have played the jury anyway. And ripped the stitches out. And possibly be prevented from playing permanently.
I have some low range issues actually. The stitches closed up the part where the inside of my lip meets the gums just a bit, so I need to actually change how I play a bit to compensate.
In other news... Actually, no, if I write other news this will be way too long. So I'll write other news another time. There's plenty. But goodbye for now, Happy Monday!!!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Radio
I've now played on it. This morning, my tuba quartet (formed on Wednesday and currently nameless) played on a local favorite show hosted by Don Weeks on WGY in Schenectady, NY. We are all part of ITEA (International Tuba Euphonium Association) at The College of Saint Rose (CSR), which organized this year's (first in quite a while) Tuba Christmas in Albany. We played at the Christmas tree lighting ceremony at Empire State Plaza last Sunday and someone from the radio station was there and heard us. CSR ITEA's president, Greg Clark, got a call earlier this week that the station wanted 4 students from CSR to play on the show this morning. The rest of the story can be heard here. Needless to say, that was quite an experience.
On an unrelated note, you may notice that the link in my earlier post on here to my new blog, OutVoiced Albany, is no longer working. I've decided to take the blog down during the next week while I wrap up this semester. I enjoy writing about gay life and gay issues in Albany, but I'm too busy to really even be writing this right now, and 2 blogs is too much to handle at the moment. This morning was my 5th of 7 concerts this week, plus I have 2 papers, 3 finals and a jury to complete within the next week. Anyway, this blog wins because it has seniority.
The 6th of 7 performances is this evening at CSR, with the Masterworks Chorale. We're performing the John Rutter "Gloria" in 3 movements with the 80 person choir, brass octet, organ and percussion. And let me tell you, it is friggen epic! Wonderful piece with what is rumored to be one of the best (if not the best) brass/percussion groups ever at the College of Saint Rose.
My mom is coming tonight to see the concert and spend time with Brian and I afterward. So basically today is the day of great music, great friends and family, time spent having fun and scarves. It's cold.
And now it's time to go. Mom should be here soon. :)
On an unrelated note, you may notice that the link in my earlier post on here to my new blog, OutVoiced Albany, is no longer working. I've decided to take the blog down during the next week while I wrap up this semester. I enjoy writing about gay life and gay issues in Albany, but I'm too busy to really even be writing this right now, and 2 blogs is too much to handle at the moment. This morning was my 5th of 7 concerts this week, plus I have 2 papers, 3 finals and a jury to complete within the next week. Anyway, this blog wins because it has seniority.
The 6th of 7 performances is this evening at CSR, with the Masterworks Chorale. We're performing the John Rutter "Gloria" in 3 movements with the 80 person choir, brass octet, organ and percussion. And let me tell you, it is friggen epic! Wonderful piece with what is rumored to be one of the best (if not the best) brass/percussion groups ever at the College of Saint Rose.
My mom is coming tonight to see the concert and spend time with Brian and I afterward. So basically today is the day of great music, great friends and family, time spent having fun and scarves. It's cold.
And now it's time to go. Mom should be here soon. :)
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Cold
Okay, so it's not really cold yet. It's not winter. And I live in Albany, which doesn't get a bad winter. But god damn is it chilly this morning! I have no idea what it's like outside, except cloudy I believe (the blinds are closed because there is stuff on my table [in front of the window] that the people on the street shouldn't see). But inside is just not warm. And the heat isn't making it warm. Maybe I'll go outside and get colder so that the comparison makes it better. Yeah okay, be right back.
Okay I'm back. So it turned out all I needed to do was close the door and take away the draft. I'm dumb.
In other news, I'm hungover. I don't like it. But Brian and I got to hear some great jazz at Justin's last night, the Robert Kopex Trio. The side effects of this were drinks, smokes and coming home for more drinks. So I'm hungover.
And it's SNOWING!!! :D :D :D I've been wanting some snow. I'm addicted to the change of seasons like a crackhead is addicted to your mom.
I really should get back to working on my essay now, but this has been a great procrastination effort. K bye now.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Blog(s)
I have a new one. Not that this one is going anywhere, but a lot of my subject matter over the last few months (sparse as updates may have been) have outgrown the random thoughts that this started as. And honestly, A Toast to Toast is not the thing to make into a serious blog.
Instead, I am now fathering two blogs. The new one is called OutVoiced Albany and it centers around Brian and I. The first post was originally written here. You can find OutVoiced Albany at out-voiced-albany.blogspot.com.
Of course, it isn't hard to see that New York losing out on gay marriage was the inspiration for branching off. All of a sudden, things got much more serious. As I said yesterday, I am torn between wanting to just move somewhere else that is more accepting, or staying here and fighting for the acceptance that I can see every day is all over Albany. And most likely all over New York State just waiting for our leaders to catch up. My choice, at least for now until I have the option to move somewhere else, is to stay and do my part.
[Also, yes, I do see the irony in my earlier post being called "Progress" yesterday, hours before NY chose not to progress. I don't want to talk about it.]
However, there is very little I can do. As I bitch about all the time in this blog, I have very little free time. So this is my way of doing what little I can. I can't organize, join a committee or really even attend any protests. What I can do is sit at my desk at work and write.
So much of the serious conversations about gay rights and gay experiences and being a gay couple in Albany will move there. The lighter stuff will stay here. As well as the political stuff that doesn't involve this issue. It will go back to being a toast to toast instead of a toast to Brian and I.
But Brian and I still like toast and are sticking around. :) And please, join us anytime at out-voiced-albany.blogspot.com!
Instead, I am now fathering two blogs. The new one is called OutVoiced Albany and it centers around Brian and I. The first post was originally written here. You can find OutVoiced Albany at out-voiced-albany.blogspot.com.
Of course, it isn't hard to see that New York losing out on gay marriage was the inspiration for branching off. All of a sudden, things got much more serious. As I said yesterday, I am torn between wanting to just move somewhere else that is more accepting, or staying here and fighting for the acceptance that I can see every day is all over Albany. And most likely all over New York State just waiting for our leaders to catch up. My choice, at least for now until I have the option to move somewhere else, is to stay and do my part.
[Also, yes, I do see the irony in my earlier post being called "Progress" yesterday, hours before NY chose not to progress. I don't want to talk about it.]
However, there is very little I can do. As I bitch about all the time in this blog, I have very little free time. So this is my way of doing what little I can. I can't organize, join a committee or really even attend any protests. What I can do is sit at my desk at work and write.
So much of the serious conversations about gay rights and gay experiences and being a gay couple in Albany will move there. The lighter stuff will stay here. As well as the political stuff that doesn't involve this issue. It will go back to being a toast to toast instead of a toast to Brian and I.
But Brian and I still like toast and are sticking around. :) And please, join us anytime at out-voiced-albany.blogspot.com!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
New York...
...just failed to pass gay marriage into law. I'm still very upset, which is usually not the best time to write about something publicly. But I had to say something, even if it comes at a time just after I've turned off the lights to my office to cry in peace. (Current Facebook status: Jay is going downtown to find a senator and kick the crap out of him.)
Basically, fuck New York State.
And I am taking steps to actively do just that. Just this afternoon, I had finally filled out and printed my application to get a NYS drivers license. That would mean turning in my Vermont license, and my VT residency, something that I was very eager to do. Within 2 minutes of hearing the news, I put my application through the paper shredder.
How bad is it that IOWA is doing a better job with equality than New York is?
In all honesty, I am not used to being explicitly labeled second class. I am a gay white male who has rarely experienced homophobia. Even living in the mountains of Vermont, in a tiny, redneck town, I had a lot of big, redneck friends who had absolutely no problem with my sexual orientation. Everyone in my brass quintet is a (very) straight, masculine guy and every one of them accept me and my relationship.
I haven't been with Brian very long. But it's perfectly clear that we are headed toward a lifelong commitment. And that much has been clear since days into our relationship. There is no doubt in my mind that we will be married. An even more encouraging fact is that we both talk about it, but I know neither of us will propose for quite a while. This is because we want a firm foundation before taking that plunge. And we've tended to move very fast with each other, but to be very comfortable in doing so.
This is a plan that would work well in any relationship, gay or straight. The difference is that for gays, we don't have the same possible legitimacy in our relationships, even though our relationships are just as valid as straight ones. The gay divorce rate is a bit lower than the straight divorce rate if I remember correctly (I'm not looking this up right now, do it yourself and make up your own mind).
And that's just it. How can people bother "protecting" an institution that isn't even halfway successful? Over half of marriages end in divorce. It is not a sacred institution. And furthermore, it never was. The definition of marriage has changed completely over the centuries, but it has always remained one thing consistently: a legal contract.
And do we really want the original version of marriage back? In the beginning, it was a contract that identified a woman as a man's property. In the early days of this country, then in the middle days, and then into the late days, it was only for people of the same race. Personally, I prefer the 'radical' form of marriage that we have today.
I just want to see it be available for everyone.
So what are we going to do? Well, in the meantime, I'm going to pout. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry with Brian. I've already refused to become a resident of this state. Later I'm going to walk to the Capitol and stand in front giving it the finger(s) for a good 5-10 minutes. And I want to move.
Eventually I'll join the fight to try again, if there is any shot of trying again. I suppose it could be done through the courts, but all those hicks throughout upstate would probably vote it down again.
And now...
ADVICE FOR GAYS: Once again, come the fuck out of the closet. That's the best chance we have of being granted equal rights. As I've demonstrated throughout my life, if you show people what gay people are really like, they will support you. I am in a *fully* out gay couple and we rarely experience any backlash or bigotry. We are explicitly or implicitly supported almost everywhere we go. And if more of you joined us, things would be better for all of us. Get out there. Now.
Basically, fuck New York State.
And I am taking steps to actively do just that. Just this afternoon, I had finally filled out and printed my application to get a NYS drivers license. That would mean turning in my Vermont license, and my VT residency, something that I was very eager to do. Within 2 minutes of hearing the news, I put my application through the paper shredder.
How bad is it that IOWA is doing a better job with equality than New York is?
In all honesty, I am not used to being explicitly labeled second class. I am a gay white male who has rarely experienced homophobia. Even living in the mountains of Vermont, in a tiny, redneck town, I had a lot of big, redneck friends who had absolutely no problem with my sexual orientation. Everyone in my brass quintet is a (very) straight, masculine guy and every one of them accept me and my relationship.
I haven't been with Brian very long. But it's perfectly clear that we are headed toward a lifelong commitment. And that much has been clear since days into our relationship. There is no doubt in my mind that we will be married. An even more encouraging fact is that we both talk about it, but I know neither of us will propose for quite a while. This is because we want a firm foundation before taking that plunge. And we've tended to move very fast with each other, but to be very comfortable in doing so.
This is a plan that would work well in any relationship, gay or straight. The difference is that for gays, we don't have the same possible legitimacy in our relationships, even though our relationships are just as valid as straight ones. The gay divorce rate is a bit lower than the straight divorce rate if I remember correctly (I'm not looking this up right now, do it yourself and make up your own mind).
And that's just it. How can people bother "protecting" an institution that isn't even halfway successful? Over half of marriages end in divorce. It is not a sacred institution. And furthermore, it never was. The definition of marriage has changed completely over the centuries, but it has always remained one thing consistently: a legal contract.
And do we really want the original version of marriage back? In the beginning, it was a contract that identified a woman as a man's property. In the early days of this country, then in the middle days, and then into the late days, it was only for people of the same race. Personally, I prefer the 'radical' form of marriage that we have today.
I just want to see it be available for everyone.
So what are we going to do? Well, in the meantime, I'm going to pout. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry with Brian. I've already refused to become a resident of this state. Later I'm going to walk to the Capitol and stand in front giving it the finger(s) for a good 5-10 minutes. And I want to move.
Eventually I'll join the fight to try again, if there is any shot of trying again. I suppose it could be done through the courts, but all those hicks throughout upstate would probably vote it down again.
And now...
ADVICE FOR GAYS: Once again, come the fuck out of the closet. That's the best chance we have of being granted equal rights. As I've demonstrated throughout my life, if you show people what gay people are really like, they will support you. I am in a *fully* out gay couple and we rarely experience any backlash or bigotry. We are explicitly or implicitly supported almost everywhere we go. And if more of you joined us, things would be better for all of us. Get out there. Now.
Progress
I'd like to think I'm making some. Wow, I actually have quite a bit I can talk about today. I'll try to keep it shorter.
Things are getting rough overall. It's right at the end of the semester, so there is a TON to do. And I keep forgetting most of it. I have essays, concert reviews, finals, a jury and a portfolio due within the next couple of weeks. Also, between the 5th and the 12th I have 6 performances on top of that stuff. And one essay is for Gay and Lesbian Literature, which I'm (ironically) not doing so well in. My last essay was a B-/C+. That's not a bad grade really, but I need A's. Period. I just need everything on my grade sheet to be an A. If that happens, I graduate Summa Cum Laude. If not, I graduate Magna.
Morning cuddles with Brian are going well though.
My quintet played last night at a gig called Frosty Fest, hosted by MENC at St Rose. It wasn't our best performance by far. Probably closer to our worst since our new trumpet player, Michael Dietlein, joined the group a couple of months ago. I know that I personally was having a very off night. It's good that I can decry a performance so intensely though, because it's another sign that my quintet has risen to a level where only a high performance level is acceptable.
At least I got to go out with Brian the other night. We go to De John's, a bar on Lark St right near our apartment. It's a straight bar. We're not straight. Nor do we pretend to be or hide our relationship. They LOVE us there though. They're very supportive and friendly, and we've become regulars. (Honestly, I think I may have written about them before, but I can't remember so I'm shamelessly plugging them again. Deal.) Of course, sometimes other gays come in and act all A-List when they see us. But ya can't out A-list the A+ now can you?
What did that mean? Either way, these gays tend to be skinny with perfect hair and made up faces, designer everything and an arrogance that would rival Kanye's. Then they clearly feel threatened or jealous or even just uncomfortable in our presence. Brian and I's presence. Brian and I in our H&M clothes and Albany-cut hair. We fart to each other! And yet, the A-Gays act differently when they see us together. Maybe it's because they see a normal, accepted and impossibly loving couple. Maybe they wish they had that. Maybe they're just sluts who don't care about that. Maybe I'm just imagining things... :P
I just typed 30 seconds into the microwave instead of hitting the Quick Heat button. I disgust myself. That cost me at least 3 seconds of coffee-drinking.
I should go to Rep Class now and not fail.
Advice for gays: If you want people to demonstrate for gay marriage at the Capitol, maybe wait until they're firmly planning to bring it to debate before announcing a time, only to have it postponed. If nothing else, the right wing is fucking with you! It's easy: postpone the vote last minute as soon as the gays are going to demonstrate, then when it keeps happening, people will get frustrated and stop showing up. Then there will be fewer demonstrators when it's time for the actual debate. So wait it out, and once it starts, be there to greet them on the way out of the first round of debates. (Let's face it, there will be more than one.) But in all honestly, thank you, gays, for standing up for marriage at a time when I'm too busy to join you.
Things are getting rough overall. It's right at the end of the semester, so there is a TON to do. And I keep forgetting most of it. I have essays, concert reviews, finals, a jury and a portfolio due within the next couple of weeks. Also, between the 5th and the 12th I have 6 performances on top of that stuff. And one essay is for Gay and Lesbian Literature, which I'm (ironically) not doing so well in. My last essay was a B-/C+. That's not a bad grade really, but I need A's. Period. I just need everything on my grade sheet to be an A. If that happens, I graduate Summa Cum Laude. If not, I graduate Magna.
Morning cuddles with Brian are going well though.
My quintet played last night at a gig called Frosty Fest, hosted by MENC at St Rose. It wasn't our best performance by far. Probably closer to our worst since our new trumpet player, Michael Dietlein, joined the group a couple of months ago. I know that I personally was having a very off night. It's good that I can decry a performance so intensely though, because it's another sign that my quintet has risen to a level where only a high performance level is acceptable.
At least I got to go out with Brian the other night. We go to De John's, a bar on Lark St right near our apartment. It's a straight bar. We're not straight. Nor do we pretend to be or hide our relationship. They LOVE us there though. They're very supportive and friendly, and we've become regulars. (Honestly, I think I may have written about them before, but I can't remember so I'm shamelessly plugging them again. Deal.) Of course, sometimes other gays come in and act all A-List when they see us. But ya can't out A-list the A+ now can you?
What did that mean? Either way, these gays tend to be skinny with perfect hair and made up faces, designer everything and an arrogance that would rival Kanye's. Then they clearly feel threatened or jealous or even just uncomfortable in our presence. Brian and I's presence. Brian and I in our H&M clothes and Albany-cut hair. We fart to each other! And yet, the A-Gays act differently when they see us together. Maybe it's because they see a normal, accepted and impossibly loving couple. Maybe they wish they had that. Maybe they're just sluts who don't care about that. Maybe I'm just imagining things... :P
I just typed 30 seconds into the microwave instead of hitting the Quick Heat button. I disgust myself. That cost me at least 3 seconds of coffee-drinking.
I should go to Rep Class now and not fail.
Advice for gays: If you want people to demonstrate for gay marriage at the Capitol, maybe wait until they're firmly planning to bring it to debate before announcing a time, only to have it postponed. If nothing else, the right wing is fucking with you! It's easy: postpone the vote last minute as soon as the gays are going to demonstrate, then when it keeps happening, people will get frustrated and stop showing up. Then there will be fewer demonstrators when it's time for the actual debate. So wait it out, and once it starts, be there to greet them on the way out of the first round of debates. (Let's face it, there will be more than one.) But in all honestly, thank you, gays, for standing up for marriage at a time when I'm too busy to join you.
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