Goals.

Um yeah, about that...

Tonight I realized that I have none.

This is a bit strange for me, as I've always been a somewhat driven person. Since about age 17, I've either worked full time or full time plus, gone to school full time or full time plus, or at one point, went to school and worked, both full time. Or, at other times, I've practiced a ton and done good things with music. 

Even now, I exhibit the appearance of being very driven. I have a 3.96 GPA, take over a dozen classes in some semesters, perform in groups off campus and professionally, and a job. And maybe two jobs next semester. 

This might sound like I'm bragging, but I'm not. I'm just saying that even with the effort and time that I put into everything, I have no goals. There is nothing that I really care about gaining out of it. And I just think it's weird.

I realized this tonight, during a training session at my new job. The manager said that he wanted to know what each of our goals were within the company privately. So I of course started planning my answer. "Well, advancement isn't a huge priority for me. Even though I will work very hard at my job, I am more focused on.........." And that's where the thought stopped. I thought of the other career opportunities that I wanted to have after college and realized that I wasn't really that into any of them anymore. 

So I'm in between goals. I wonder if this is okay or not. I guess I'll find out.

I guess, since I've been playing up the future in teaching thing (like mountain out of a molehill), I could always say that I would like to move up to management so that it looks good on a resume when going for my masters in education, but then they might actually do it, and I don't think I would like that very much.

On the plus side, there are some cute boys at my new job. I don't think I'll ever really see them again, but they're still cute nonetheless.

And on that note, I'm going to drink some wine and watch Sex and the City.

Good night.

Advice for gays: Almost all of you are getting progressively creepier. In the ten years since I've come out, gay men have gone in waves of creepiness. And for the last year or so, the rate of creepiness has risen significantly. And it needs to stop. Fucking creepers.